Have we the courage to choose our way?
The painting talks about the desire to follow another path. We have all been confronted with our fear of making a mistake and the difficulty to let go a painful but familiar past, in order to choose the unknown of a different future than what it was planned... ...
Oil, acrylic, fluorescent medium and metal leaf on canvas
145cm x 230cm
"I know I have to make decisions for my own good because I feel that I am dying. My life today stinks of decay and corrosion. My words and those of others no longer have any sense. They only fill the vacuum of our relations.
From where I come, where I live, everything is barren around me, inside me, like a tree which sees its foliage wither endlessly.
So many years… I wasted so many years, apparently secure… or perhaps locked in the splendid isolation of my ivory tower perched on top of the mountain… convinced that I was protecting myself, but actually in company of the thousand pieces of my shattered soul. That is to say ALONE. Utterly, desperately alone.
Oh sure! I have improved. As always, I sought the answers in countless books and the answers I found generated more questions in a continuous cycle of searching for other books, other questions. I have gained fascinating, valuable knowledge that has opened a gap in my prison.
Sometimes it seems to me that I am guided by a voice, from a higher energy. I have read that some call it the guardian angel, others God… or otherwise. I do not know what it is, but I feel well in his company.
In these moments of connection, I get a yearning for infinite expansion, for freedom without limits or controls. I want to leave my print in life, in the world because I am worthwhile! I can choose what I want; I have the strength to carry on my projects! I do not know where I'm going, but I feel such a determination in me, such a faith in my soul that shows me the way! YES!
But then it is not so simple. Other voices, insidious, hint me and my doubts take the upper hand, so reassuring in their familiarity. If I abandon my reality of today, where do I go? What can I expect?
We know that it is dangerous to venture outside the beaten track! What will think my family? What will think my dear ones? No one will understand... I will be considered crazy.
If I choose freedom, if I choose to go in search of Oneness, there will be such consequences that… NO! I do not have the strength to bear it! I‘ll never be at the mark. Dreams are just madness. Better to wait. Something will happen, a miracle. People says that time solves everything, right?
There will be the right moment.
Oh God! And if it doesn’t ever get there?“